How to be Happy

Book of the Week: The Happiness Dare by Jennifer Dukes Lee

"Ellen, I love how you're always singing and so happy," our studio camera technician told me last week as we did our live cut-in for CBS This Morning.

While I'll take that compliment, it's not completely accurate. I'm not always happy. I definitely have bad days when I can't kick my own grumpiness. Come on! Life is messy and I'm a perfectionist - those two factors don't mix so well.

But I can see why my co-workers believe I'm harboring some secret to happiness because I admit - I'm a glass half full kind of gal. An eternal optimist who believes in happily ever afters.

And you know why? Because I choose to be happy.
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​It's a trait I learned from my parents. Bonus, I also inherited my mother's internal happiness set point. How high is that set point? High.

For example, she and my dad are full-time caregivers for my sister who is in a wheelchair. You know what my mom has to say about that? "We are lucky. It could have been much worse."

My Mom, one of the optimistic people I know.

So why would someone who seems genetically programed to be happy read a book about achieving additional happiness? Because I'm a perfectionist. Did you miss that part up above?

And here's the thing, reading The Happiness Dare by Jennifer Dukes Lee helped me understand that what makes me happy might not be what makes you happy.

Replace "As a Doer" in that excerpt from her book (on the left) with "Ellen" and the description would be extremely accurate. I love work. I love crossing items off a to-do list. I love going to bed exhausted knowing I maximized my talents that day.

But I'm not you. And what makes me happy might not make you happy.

Yes, some general practices apply like choosing happiness and being grateful for even the smallest joys in your life (i.e. blasting country music on your drive to work or eating a Kit-Kat in the middle of a newscast).

But you might not get the same thrill from organizing your bathroom cabinets that I do.

So find your own happiness. Don't settle for a mundane life. Figure out your happiness style and embrace it. (Here's a link to the author's happiness style assessment.)

You have passions, you have talents, and you have something to contribute to this world. We need your contributions. Don't ​let your discontentment with life today stop you from finding your happily ever after.